| well... its been figured out what i have.. and its not going to be too
fun of a time till i get used to coping with it... we'll see.
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| bummed out  ... i went back to the
doctor today and he said i was doing better beacause of the medicine he
gave me. Then i asked if i should just continue taking it till it
ran out and his reply was that I'll probably be taking it for the rest
of my life. ... it was like.. ok this guy is just pulling my
leg.. then at the end of the exam he told me that i would have to talk
to my family doctor to get the rest of the prescriptions... ... my
heart sunk when i found out he wasnt joking.. and a new cloud seems to
have risen over my head.
stress causes a lot i guess...
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| well im sitting here bored after getting a full nights worth of
sleep... which is very rare these days.. and then during the day.. i
dont like napping as much when i have to do all this gaming.. 
.. and some school work.. maybe? anyways.. heres an update.. went
home for an amazing weekend like always.. for the past.. week and a
half to two weeks my stomach has been a bitch... yea.. thats right a
bitch and i cant do anything about it.. I saw the doctor over the weekend
but he said to just let it go.. .. O.. ok .. cool.. so now i think im
going to see the school nurse... who knows my name.. errr used to last
semester  so she can hook me up with a
doctor here. anyways.. comp is fixed thanks to jake and i just
have to send out the bad stick of ram and get some more goodies... thats about it.
love ya miss 
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| If you knew you suffered from depression but it allowed you to see the world differently than others and have a new found respect for certain people and events, would you take medication to fix it? Even if sometimes that depression takes you to levels that some could not tolerate and your existence is questioned.
It's funny how the things that can bring us to the edge of life can make us appreciate the very thing we wish could be taken away.
Random: A voice inside is roaring so loud and ready to burst but the crisp air remains still and your ears get a chill from the quietness in the wind. Except your wind discontinues and becomes smothered by the actions of another while you recognize the ground you stand on from the fear to raise your chin and gaze upon your world. (not sure where that was going) |
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| The illness is breaking out, stretching you thin. Words flow in a symphony of sounds spiraling around in a darkened room while one light flickers in the stale musty air. Swift movements of a pencil parade the paper avoiding the drops of blood dripping on every letter exerted from the soul. Its breaking out, its too late. You saw it coming, you couldn’t stop it anymore. The sickness spews out in an uncontrollable stream of depression and death. Soon it spreads to your surroundings. You drop to you knees without hope, without feeling, without faith. Is this it? Its here, the day you’ve been seeing and pretending, fixating and replaying.
Are you ready?
so fragile and becoming pale, the time has passed without the signs until today. No one noticed, no one saw, no one cared. Don’t worry, your last breath was just as good as your first.
Was it worth it?
Lifeless as the dying flower perched against the peeling wall. Spider web cracks spread in the shadows of a stiff body and run from the puddle on the floor. The echo has left but it still rings in your head. The gun resting on the ground from its effortless task; another and last step from your past. Why did you do it?
No one cared right?
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